Drive Friendly Pass It On

This sticker was on my newspaper this morning. It is HILARIOUS so I just have to share. The way Utahn’s actually drive is in red. I think if people are actually TAUGHT how to drive and not given a license if they can’t drive it would help alleviate these issues. Enjoy!

It’s the holiday season – so much to do! The Utah Department of Public Safety is asking for your help. Aggressive and inattentive driving contributes to crashes throughout Utah. Make an effort to drive with care and courtesy this holiday season to reduce the number of driver error and aggressive related crashes.

•Maintain a safe distance from the vehicle in front of you. (Unless someone signals to change lanes in front of you. Then speed up so you are inches from the bumper of the car in front of you and then flip everyone off)
•Use your signal to turn, change lanes, or merge. (Never use blinkers for any reason. EVER!)
•If another driver wants to pass, let them. (See #1. Speed up or slow down so the other driver is unable to change lanes and they miss their turns. Then flip them off)
•Respect pedestrians’ right of way. (Turn whenever you want. It’s their fault if they’re in the road)
•Adjust your attitude; let other drivers’ actions go. (Make sure you do everything within your power to ignore other drivers or traffic signals. Make sure you block or slow down traffic while driving. Then flip everyone off)
•Plan your trips ahead to avoid congestion. (I do what I want. When I want. How I want. Everyone else just stay away from me. Then flip every one off)
•Avoid texting, cell phone use, shaving, putting on makeup, reading, etc. (This is the only way to drive. Texting and talking is the best way to ignore traffic, signals, drivers, weather. You old fogies just can’t multi-task like us teens. Then just flip everyone off)
Treat other drivers the way you would like to be treated. (Heck, I will do what I want. When I want. How I want. I will drive as fast or as slow as I want. In any or all lanes I choose. I will cut in line, cut off cars, make turns right in front of others so they must slam on their brakes to avoid hitting me. Then I flip them off. Stop in the middle of the road when I missed my turn and backup so I can go where I want. I will play my music as loud as I want and turn my rear view mirror so I can look at myself when I drive. Who cares about the cars behind me? I will drive down the center island or the right shoulder to pass all the idiots who are driving correctly and waiting their turn. It’s especially cool when you smoke, shave, apply makeup, read, text, drive and shift all at the same time. This is especially true when it’s snowing really hard)